Elle's Confused. Still.

In the "biggest ever!" September issue of Elle, a full page (which, to be fair, only amounts to .12% of the issue) is dedicated to fielding a reader's question to Fashion Know-It-All (a.k.a. fashion news director and future Stylista star Anne Slowey) that asks who that Yves Saint Laurent dude was anyway.

"Dear FKIA, I noticed a strong reaction in the fashion industry to the death of YSL. I've heard his name, but can you please tell me why he's so great? —Amy, NYC"

Let's ignore the glaring possibility that this letter wasn't actually mailed in and that the folks at Elle just needed an excuse to cover Yves Saint Laurent's death months after the other major fashion mags did. It's a valid question either way and one that you probably wouldn't know the answer to unless you read fashion books or took a class on the subject. Slowey goes on to explain that the French designer made pants for women fashionable, championed black models, launched Opium (one of the most controversial perfumes of all time), and was nearly fired from Dior for drawing inspiration from the hipsters of the day, the beatniks.

Thing is, though, the rest of the issue (and every other recent issue) presumes that the girl reading the magazine is sooo obsessed with the fashion world that she wants to know about every last up-and-coming designer. This September issue has articles about 17 different ones. Are there girls out there who don't know YSL but are excited about a story on the Milanese newby Francesco Scognamiglio (whose clothes are only sold at one store in Milan and one in London, btw)? I kinda think no.

Shawn Johnson, a Shooting Star

The Best Female Character of the Year is Played by a Robot

I've seen WALL-E twice. I like Pixar movies in general because I get the sense that someone, like, put a little thought into them. This one takes the cake. I like it even more than Ratatouille and The Incredibles, which is saying a lot. There are a million things that make it one of the best films of the year—from the sparse dialogue to the sly anti-consumption message to the computer-designed backdrops—but one of the real points of distinction for me is the relationship between leading man WALL-E and his crush, EVE.

See, EVE is a bitch. She's well-groomed, reserved, and serious about her job. (These are the qualities that make a girl a bitch, right?) She's focused on her career and can't be bothered to deal with WALL-E, even though he is the only robot left on earth. When something (e.g., a rock) threatens her safety, she simply blows it up. When she finally does befriend WALL-E—after first becoming pals with a cockroach, note—she asks him what his directive is. To everyone watching the movie, that's pretty obvious.

Disheveled WALL-E does his ho-hum work every day and doesn't get hung up on it. He yearns for affection, for someone to just hold hands with. (The scene when he practices holding his own hand? Die. So adorable.) He's also super emotional. And loves musicals. He falls for Eve the second he sees her and shyly pursues her. In the end (yes, spoiler alert), Eve of course falls for the John Cusack of battery-operated trash compactors. But in the process she proves to be the strongest, most self-assured female role Hollywood's turned out so far this year.

Her slim competition:
-Hayley Atwell as Lady Julia Flyte in Brideshead Revisited
-Kate Bosworth as Jill Taylor in 21
-Tina Fey as Kate Holbrook in Baby Mama
-Anne Hathaway as Agent 99 in Get Smart
-Natalie Portman as Anne Boleyn in The Other Boleyn Girl
-Angelina Jolie as Fox in Wanted

Am I missing any?

Elegy Screening Proves Actresses Don’t Have Monopoly on Bad Style

Whenever I see Hollywood-types wearing terrible attire at an event, I feel a little sorry for them. I mean, sure they have no fashion sense, but isn’t that what the stylist’s for? Well, as the photos from the Glamour/Cinema Society screening of Elegy—a.k.a. the new movie starring Penélope Cruz where she does not hook up with Scarlett Johansson—prove, the people with genuine style know-how (the designers) can be fashion fuck-ups too. Donna Karan, Charlotte Ronson, and more after the jump.

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The Good:

Patricia Clarkson (with Andrew Saffir). Now, you could say the dress is a pretty fool-proof, but we've seen women make a mess of plenty of symmetrical dresses. Here, it's the accessories that do it: The lipstick, the bracelet, and the clutch are all spot-on.


There is a lot of corset action happening here—on both the dress and the jacket—but Penélope works it. She's wearing black head-to-toe, but there's nothing safe about it.


This is more not bad than it is good, which is basically Tory Birch's M.O. In my dreams, she wears M.I.A.-style psychedelics. Still, she's somehow the best-dressed fashion chick of the night.



The Bad:

Bad Designer #1: You know those times when you find a dress at H&M that you want, and they don't have your size? But you buy it anyway? That's what this is. Except Charlotte Ronson wears hers out, and we store ours in the depths of our closets.


Bad Designer #2: We get it, Cynthia Rowley. You're quirky. You mix colors! And/or get dressed with your eyes closed.


Bad Designer #3: Donna Karan's look speaks to the failure of the entire DKNY line.


Peter Sarsgaard had the right idea. This isn't a genuine premiere, so relax and skip the tie. He just took the loosen up thing too far and went with an oversized first-job interview suit that makes him look far boxier than he is.



The Ugly:

Olivia Thirlby, you are so loveable. It's too bad The Wackness people are making you dress all 1994 to promote your movie. Oh, they aren't. HMM.

I Was Told There’d Be Disappointment

Sloane Crosley is successful, at least in the sense that people in the book world compare her to David Sedaris and Dorothy Parker and that HBO bought up the rights to her first book of essays, I Was Told There’d Be Cake. Sloane Crosley is also barely 30, and herein lies the problem: She’s the kind of girl that makes you feel like a slacker.

It’s not that her book, a collection of stories about first jobs, lost wallets, and bridesmaid duties, is great or even noteworthy. (Instructions for best reading experience: Go to Borders. Locate book. Read “You on a Stick.” Put book back.) But she wrote it, goddammit, and what have you done?

I tend to obsess over people who have early success, and to say that it stems from anything but sheer jealously would be giving myself way more credit than I deserve. And what makes this Crosley case worse than all the Mark Zuckerbergs and 12-year-old fashion bloggers is that—while I’m no tech wizard or fashion phenom—what this chick did is rooted in experiences I ostensibly had, experiences that lots of other twentysomethings who grew up in Applebee's towns probably had too.

She lived in the New York suburbs. She was a girl who dreamed of (yes, dreamed of, not had) one-night stands and had an exceedingly bland home life. There was no heroin- or crazy shrink-addled youth that reading Augusten Burroughs makes you wish for—you know, for the sake of material.

Thing is, though, Miss Crosley actually did it: She put the pen to the paper, or, more likely, the fingers to the MacBook, and that’s half the fucking battle. Now she’s at #30 on the New York Times Paperback Nonfiction Best-Seller List (this is what I mean by obsess). Here, a passage from her book that so many post-collegiate chicas could have written. Use it as motivation to stop bitchin' and start doin'. Or maybe that's just me.

"Justine brings along her new boyfriend, Trevor. Trevor the investment banker who is not actually an investment banker but works in finance. Since this is the only money-oriented job you come remotely close to grasping, you call everyone who works on Wall Street an “investment banker.” You think he actually does something with hedge funds. Trims them, maybe. He has taken Justine golfing for the day and their faces and arms are burned Nantucket red."

"Does Your Life Include an Exhilarating Dash of Concerts, Theater-Going and Dining Out?"

Once upon a time, Seventeen magazine put out books that weren't about prom or traumarama. The most classic was called The Seventeen Guide to the Widening World, first published in 1965, and it's one-part timeless, one-part hilarious. Sure, it talks down to its wide-eyed reader, but it does it in that that Suze Orman way: with the decisiveness necessarily to convince you that you do need a 401k or to write thank-you notes. The book—replete with an index of entries like "Joie de vivre, expressing, 16"—is broken into chapters like "How to Enjoy Your Family" and "How to Give Perfect Parties." One key sub-chapter is "Balancing Your Clothes Budget." An excerpt:

"Does your life include an exhilarating dash of concerts, theater-going and dining out? Little wool dresses, ore or two in glowing colors, are indicated here. You might want to look for a classic evening suit in a conservative color, again changing it with blouses or a variety of accessories."

Now, I'm not so sure that this evening suit business holds up today, but the section on what not to buy is still plenty valid:

"As for the discipline needed to maintain a well-balanced clothes budget, try to resist:
...the eccentric color or fad fashion that attracts simply because it's new.
...the costly party dress that can be neither dressed up nor dressed down, but just is.
...the tempting separates or accessories that have no foreseeable future in your life."

The 2008 application: skip mustard yellow if it looks like crap on you, don't be wooed by over-priced satiny things with sequins, and leave the Kanye sunglasses to people that put on live shows.

I'm so Excited, I'm so Excited...

Fashion magazines are obsessed with identifying style icons, and they usually dig up such unknowns as Sandra Oh and Elizabeth Hurley. Whether we're talking Vogue or InStyle, the women presented always have two things in common: 1) deep wallets and 2) little to no lasting cultural significance. But what about the women who actually shaped our style (and our sense of what that even means) back in our most sponge-like years?

Here, a look at one of the most noteworthy influencers of our time: Jessie Spano. Before Elizabeth Berkley went NC-17 or tried to redeem herself with the L-Word, she played the empowered smarty at Bayside High, and she had serious style. While Lisa accessorized aggressively and Kelly embraced baby-doll dresses, Jessie did herself up in high-waited pants, bulky headbands, and librarian-worthy shirts. Some highlights:

Let's get this out of the way: The hair is huge. But that's how she likes it. The buttoned-up look (and the pseudo-Western accessorizing) is classic J.S.

This shirt would make it one day in a vintage shop. And the hiking boots? Amazing.

If you've been to an outdoor concert this summer, you've probably seen a chick dressed exactly like this but with red Ray-Ban Wayfarers. And, I was always under the impression that Britney Spears introduced the rolled-down waistband, but I should have known better.

Kelly was always a bigger fan of the Flashdance sweatshirt than Jessie was, but the big velvet bow headband was one of the J.S.'s go-to statement accessories.

Cindy McCain Approves This Dress

• On a lunch date with Kate White of Cosmo, Joanna Coles of Marie Claire, Rosemary Ellis of Good Housekeeping, and Hearst queenpin Cathie Black, Cindy McCain got a email from her 16-year-old daughter Bridget asking her opinion of a new dress. Cindy gave a thumbs up. Something about this feels staged. [Page Six]

• Bruce Hulse, a one-time Calvin Klein model who dated Elle Macpherson, Paulina Porizkova, and Andie MacDowell, has penned a dishy tell-all called Sex, Love and Fashion: A Memoir of a Male Model. Jamie Burke is working on a sequel, natch. [Vogue UK]

• In an interview for the Telegraph, Christian Louboutin says, “Everything inspires me but fashion. It's probably one of the things that least inspires me. Only when I work with designers… Otherwise I never really think about clothes.” Also, he’s a perfectionist. How original. [Telegraph]

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• Victoria Beckham won’t be showing her new, high-end collection at New York’s Fashion Week in September. Could is be that she's putting more thought into it than she did her flop of a jean line? [Fashion Week Daily]

• The Financial Times is reporting that more men are now embracing girly colors like pink, purple, and orange. Wait, orange? Isn’t that the color of, like, basketballs? (Let’s not even address the absurdity of the colors-as-gender specific premise.) [FT]

• Interview unveils its full makeover with its September issue. The cover girl is Kate Moss. Hint: If a model was on the cover of Vogue the month before, she probably doesn't represent all that is fresh and new. [Fashion Copious]

• Both Sheryl Crow and Criss Angel are launching clothing lines. Hers, called Bootheel Trading Co., is rooted in American style (read: denim, T-shirts) and will be sold at Dillard’s. His, MF13 (yah, who knows), is all about nonsense and metal and will be available at his store at the Luxor Hotel in Vegas. [The Cut]

• Stylist extraordinaire Rachel Zoe denies having an eating disorder and tells Harper’s Bazaar, “I take care of myself. But when it's me working on my own, it's 7 p.m. and I've had coffee and a grapefruit." See, not eating because you’re busy is totally different. [Page Six]

• The Rose Club at the Plaza Hotel—not to be confused with the Rose Bar at the Gramercy Park Hotel—is destined to become a fashion crowd hangout. Sigh. [NYT]

• Erin Wasson (supermodel, stylist, friend of Alexander Wang) is launching a clothing line. Think cut-offs and tank tops that only look good on Erin Wasson. [BlackBook]